The Worst Things For Sale

This unit is three feet long and weighs over 50 pounds. It’s “designed for realism.”

“Tired of juggling your flashlight and spatula while you grill?” No, Grillight, I’m not. It never happens to me because I don’t grill in the middle of the night.

If it seems like the Grillight is the solution to your problem, you might want to think about your life, and ask yourself if having a lighted spatula is the true solution to the problems you have.

An umbrella styled to look like a sword is bad enough, and goes right along with the hoodies that look like knight’s armor. But check out the photo of the “model” carrying this thing on his back. It looks exactly like who you’d imagine would want one of these.

(Thanks to @dendycrew for the suggestion.)

This is a piece of plywood. And this is what happens when you pester the customer who bought plywood to write a review about the plywood.

The Egg Cuber allows you to turn a hard-boiled egg into a cube. It doesn’t, however, explain why you would want to do this in the first place.

“Chill out? Just because I smoke a ton of weed and I’m very cool, you think I’m going to chill?” Derek shrieked, pulling the tiny knife out of his weed necklace. “I’m not going to chill! I’M NOT GOING TO CHILL!” He lunged at the Arby’s cashier, swinging the knife wildly. “GIVE ME FIVE FOR FIVE, THEN WE’LL SEE WHO’S CHILL!”

The Silhouette “sense-enhancing wine glass” has a dip in one side, so your nose fits into it. (Check out the “elegant” picture of a lady drinking out of it.) The manufacturer claims that it helps you taste wine better, because you can stick your nose right into the glass. That would make sense, if regular wine glasses didn’t already have a big hole at the top that lets you smell the wine.

It costs $49.95… for one glass.