Iguana Warning Sign

iguana-warning-sign

DO NOT ENTER this person’s house unless you want a dead-eyed lizard to watch you as it remains motionless inside of its cage!



The Royal Wedding Flag

royal-wedding-flag

You can now, on a pole outside of your house, celebrate the royal wedding of Harry and Meghan with this flag. The smaller flags symbolize Great Britain and America, the two nations, previously unrelated, who now share a special bond in 2018 because of this marriage.



Lady Farts

lady-farts

“Lady Farts” is fifty cents’ worth of cotton candy in a ten-dollar bag. But as an example of how printing something slightly transgressive on a commodity merchandise item increases its perceived value, it’s second only to It’s Mother-Fucking Pencil Time.








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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.