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Pregnant women are one of the most coveted demographics for capitalists. You will ruin your child’s entire life forever if you don’t buy the right products while pregnant, and there’s no better driver of commerce than fear. Enter Mommee Coffee, the pregnant woman’s coffee. Sure, you could drink regular decaf or half-caf coffee when you’re pregnant, but why risk drinking something cheap and widely available?
The Lewis N. Clark Urban Gear Spork is a stainless-steel folding spork. The lone review sadly points out that the spoon is too large, the tines of the fork are too rounded to pick up food, and the “knife” is a few serrations carved into the side of the spoon. Perhaps feeling sorry for the urban spork, they then gave it three stars.
Eggies are plastic canisters which you crack eggs into and then boil, as a way to “hard boil eggs without the shell.” As you can tell from the hundreds of one-star reviews, it doesn’t seem to work very well. Eggies is not the first product to make eggs “easier” (see The Eggstractor, Rollie Eggmaster, Egg Genie, etc.) and it will be far from the last, as humanity continues to convince itself that eggs, one of the cheapest, fastest, and easiest foods to cook, are impossible puzzles.
Hygeine is important, but Mr. Clean Mouth is still pretty gross, and Mr. Gross Mouth is so over-the-top that it won’t stop anyone from using dipping tobacco. But it’s 2018, and cops are still using the DARE program to tell kids they’ll die if they smoke weed, so authority figures lying to children about their health will likely continue.
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