The Worst Things For Sale

These bath salts have the fragrance of roast beef, a scent not traditionally associated with bathing or beauty products. It’s supposed to be a prank of some sort, I guess, but on the other hand, there’s apparently a market for bacon-scented mustaches.

New York City is a fantastic and unique place, but I can’t say I’d recommend its smell to anyone. Curiously, the manufacturer describes it as “the scent of … fine department stores and concrete,” which leads me to believe they have never been to the city.

Say what you will about the wine lanyard, but at least that lets you hold your drink on an open loop around your neck, rather than the slipknot of BevTie, the tie that holds beverages.

For centuries, meditation has been an effective technique to focus and calm the mind. Now, it’s been revealed that you actually need this $346.99 chair to meditate. Which sucks, because I thought that you could do it literally anywhere, indoors or out, on the floor, or even the ground.

While it’s true that aerating your wine usually improves its flavor, a wine decanter is probably your best bet. It’s an inexpensive piece of glassware that doesn’t require batteries. The eparé, on the other hand, is a battery-operated piece of plastic that, according to the detailed, non-suspicious reviews (as opposed to the cheerfully vague five-stars,) doesn’t work, or breaks soon after arriving.

It’s the cousin of Sonic Foamer, the ultrasonic beer-coaster that causes your beer to fizz, a process usually undertaken by pouring beer into a glass. Precipitate too much of the gas out of your beer, and you’re worse off than when you started.

You might wonder, one day, “I wonder if the free and simple children’s game of flipping a bottle and landing it on its bottom has been converted into a product.” I’m happy to report that it has, and it’s called Flip Challenge, and the bottle is not included.

Let’s go down the smart-product checklist for Ember, The Smart Coffee Mug:

• Heated and insulated coffee mugs already exist
• Controlling a coffee mug with your phone is unnecessary
• Costs 15 times as much as a normal mug
• Reviews say the battery drains quickly and won’t connect to Bluetooth