Help The Worst Things For Sale continue.


Hey, it’s me, Drew. There are around 20,000 readers of The Worst Things For Sale, but only a tiny fraction of you guys are supporters of our Patreon, which is the only significant source of funding for The Worst Things For Sale. A pledge of $0.10 a day would help to keep TWTFS updated 365 days a year. I hate to ask you guys for stuff, because I know you’re just here to read about shitty products and not buy them, but I really do need your help.

Please contribute to my Patreon page, and I can keep writing TWTFS as well as my comics. There are higher pledge levels, but $3 a month ($0.10 a day) would be fantastic. Thanks for reading, and for helping me continue this work for everyone who reads and enjoys it.

Mommee Coffee


Pregnant women are one of the most coveted demographics for capitalists. You will ruin your child’s entire life forever if you don’t buy the right products while pregnant, and there’s no better driver of commerce than fear. Enter Mommee Coffee, the pregnant woman’s coffee. Sure, you could drink regular decaf or half-caf coffee when you’re pregnant, but why risk drinking something cheap and widely available?

At least it probably tastes better than Third Trimester Tea.

Urban Spork


The Lewis N. Clark Urban Gear Spork is a stainless-steel folding spork. The lone review sadly points out that the spoon is too large, the tines of the fork are too rounded to pick up food, and the “knife” is a few serrations carved into the side of the spoon. Perhaps feeling sorry for the urban spork, they then gave it three stars.

The Stainless Steel Tactical Spork, a different product, isn’t much better, but it does come with a picture of the spork attached to the end of an assault rifle.

Eggies: The Egg Boiler


Eggies are plastic canisters which you crack eggs into and then boil, as a way to “hard boil eggs without the shell.” As you can tell from the hundreds of one-star reviews, it doesn’t seem to work very well. Eggies is not the first product to make eggs “easier” (see The Eggstractor, Rollie Eggmaster, Egg Genie, etc.) and it will be far from the last, as humanity continues to convince itself that eggs, one of the cheapest, fastest, and easiest foods to cook, are impossible puzzles.

Mr Gross Mouth


Hygeine is important, but Mr. Clean Mouth is still pretty gross, and Mr. Gross Mouth is so over-the-top that it won’t stop anyone from using dipping tobacco. But it’s 2018, and cops are still using the DARE program to tell kids they’ll die if they smoke weed, so authority figures lying to children about their health will likely continue.

TWTFS is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to We are not affiliated with the manufacturers whose products appear on TWTFS.

Contact drew at or tweet him @TWTFSale.