The Worst Things For Sale

The Go Pong Can Grip allows you to turn any standard twelve-ounce can into a mug. “This is a great product to have any time you’re drinking,” reads one of the reviews. Because up until you saw this, you were unable to drink out of a regular can with a hole in the top?

It is the #1 “Can Cooler” product for sale right now, by the way. The #2 product? A plastic handle that lets you turn a bottle into a mug.

The results of a polygraph machine, known as a “lie detector”, has been repeatedly proven to be inaccurate at best, and wildly misleading in most cases. Official court opinions (including those of the Supreme Court) have been issued stating that polygraph results cannot be used as evidence due to their inaccuracy.

Of course, the manufacturers of Real Lie Detector: USB Polygraph have chosen to ignore this, going instead with the pitch “Easy to use. Hook up your friends and get the truth.”

What’s better than drinking hot coffee and driving? Brewing hot coffee while you’re driving, with the Roadpro 12-Volt Coffee Maker.

“But I’m still hungry!” you cry, shooting down the interstate at 78 miles an hour, while you try to dump coffee grounds into the precariously-balancing Roadpro Coffee Maker. Then I offer to you the Roadpro 1.5 Quart Slow Cooker. One jerk of the wheel and you’re not only covered in scalding coffee, but in piping-hot chili, soup, or stew.

I blogged before about an item I found containing 8 pounds of cereal marshmallows. Well, Kraft, makers of all sorts of health-food items such as American Cheese Squares and Liquid Cheese And Wheat For Children, has topped that by selling a FORTY POUND BAG of cereal marshmallows.

You may have already seen the video… but did you know there’s a Prancersize book?

“Ever found yourself sitting at your desk all set to eat lunch and realize you have no utensils to use?” Yes, but you could keep a plastic fork in your desk, or a metal one, and not have to attach $8.49 worth of third-party pen caps to ballpoint pens and then have to use ballpoint pens to lift food to your mouth.

Wow, I haven’t seen soap you could fuck since that time I read that “make your own sex toys” book that said it’s a good idea to drill a hole in a regular bar of soap and fuck it.