Dick Candy Necklace


The lone customer review for this item (which I’ve censored here, in case a candy dick will get you in trouble at home or work) is that it arrived used. Hey, someone’s gotta test out the dick candy necklace to make sure it… dick candies.

The AR-15 Golf Ball Shooter


This attachment allows you to shoot golf balls using your AR-15. Even if you do play golf, and own an AR-15, isn’t the point to hit the ball with your club?

A Is For Anus: The Book


“You’ll never look at the alphabet the same way again,” says the author of A Is For Anus, apparently unaware that nobody’s ever noticed how the word anus is spelled.

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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.